


The puppet street caper

by TheReaperWithGlasses



Series: Movie's are life series [3]
Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Gen, Puppets, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24857251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReaperWithGlasses/pseuds/TheReaperWithGlasses
Summary: Our ass-kickin-friend-of-the-community carmen sandiego  takes on her childhood mentor and surrogate parent: That Frog Kurtis, a Puppet TV educator turned super villain!
Series: Movie's are life series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906453
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	The puppet street caper

**Author's Note:**

> This is the next fic in the series please read,  
> "Zack and mime bomb go to white castle"  
> &  
> "The new guy"  
> First.  
> Also all of this is based on the pilot episode of black dynamite and if you can I highly recommend you check that out.

We zoom in on massa's fried chicken that has all the fingers you can suck for only 99 cents.  
"Welcome to Massa’s Fried Chicken. How may I take you your order?" Asked Foxxy mama.  
"Now, why don’t you tell Carmen sandiego what that secret formula is." Carmen sandiego.  
"You know I can’t tell you that, mommy. Mr. Massa would fire me." Said Foxxy mama  
"Hmm." Hummed Carmen sandiego.

After Foxxy mamas shift carmen brings her to a hotel room.

Carmen pushes her up against a wall and kiss her deep a passionately before moving to her neck.  
"Whoo! Salt, white pepper, black pepper, parsley, rosemary, thyme, savory sage, garlic powder!" Said Foxxy Mama.  
"Yeah, mama. Just one more. Give me that 11th herb and spice, baby. Come on." Said Carmen sandiego.  
"I feel like my whole world is shaking!" Said Foxxy Mama.

As carmen kisses her collar bone then the hole room begins to shake and vibrate violently.

"Wait a minute, mama. It ain’t me shaking your world this time." Carmen said and she pushes Foxxy mama out of the way.  
"Damn it, I was one spice away. Who is this interrupting my seduction!?" Said Carmen sandiego angrily  
Carmen runs towards the window and pulls back the curtain to see a black helicopter. Carmen jumps out of the window into the helicopter and she kicks the man closes to her in the face and then punches him out of the moving helicopter.

"That’s what I’m talking about! Carmen sandiego, you haven’t changed a bit, man!" Said a man with a eye patch.

"Dennis Flynn, the only cool motherfucker I have ever met in the CIA, what are you doing here?" Asked Carmen sandiego.

"Is there somewhere quieter we can talk? We’re inside a chopper!" Shouted Dennis Flynn.

They fly the helicopter to a secret CIA headquarters.  
"To what do I owe this visit, Dennis Flynn, and why are you here?" Asked Carmen sandiego.  
A projector comes down from the sealing and the room gets dark.  
"15 years ago, the school system in this country was totally in the bomb dropper." Said Dennis Flynn.  
"You mean the shiter." Said carmen sandiego.  
"Exactly." Said Dennis Flynn.  
"Go on." Said Carmen sandiego.  
"Personnel was scarce and funds were tight. So the CIA started a covert op designed to educate kids with hardly any money or people." Said Dennis Flynn.  
"Hmm… the puppet show." Said Carmen sandiego.  
"That’s right, Carmen sandiego. This is TF Kurtis, a.k.a. That Frog Kurtis. One of the most outstanding educators this country ever produced." Said Dennis Flynn.  
"That Frog Kurtis made me the moral citizen I am today. He taught me all them important shit like ‘flim is not given a hoot’ and ‘if anyone can prevent forest fires, it’s me’." Said Carmen sandiego.  
"I know that, Carmen sandiego. That’s why I’m here. Now our Intel suggests that That Frog Kurtis has gone rogue." Said Dennis Flynn.

Carmen is shocked and taken back a bit.

"We don’t know what he’s planning, but we do know it’s big. And it’s scheduled to go down tomorrow at 7 a.m. on national TV. We need you to stop him before it’s…" Dennis Flynn is cut off before he can finish.

"What part of the phrase, ‘Carmen sandiego ain’t fuckin’ with you honkies from the CIA no more,’ is it you honkies from the CIA don’t understand?" Yelled Carmen sandiego.  
"This isn’t about the honkies, Carmen sandiego It’s about the children." Said Dennis Flynn.  
"You know what, Dennis Flynn? I never told nobody this, but I used to be a children." Said Carmen sandiego 

Carmen flashes back to when she was a child, watching Kurt's show on t.v. with one of her nannies crying in the background.

"Now, I could lie to you and say I’m just going out on a mission, but the truth is I’m leaving you to take care of 5-year-old black sheep for the next year. Now, dig it while you can, because the light just turned motherfucking green. Bye, bitch." Said Coach brunt.

Carmen sits in a makeshift living room pretending she can't hear anything.  
"Three minus one equals two." Said Kurt's on the t.v.

Carmen comes out of the flashback and looks at Dennis Flynn.

"Snap out of it, Carmen sandiego." Said Dennis Flynn.

"Dennis Flynn, I just got one question. Can you tell me how to get to Puppet Street?" Asked Carmen sandiego.

Later that night in a 1998 saturn sedan.  
"Zack, Ivy, Mime bomb, I appreciate yall coming with me on a mission such as this. Said Carmen sandiego.  
"Mmmm- You know I’ll do anything for you carm." Said Ivy.  
"It’s cool, C.S. I needed to get out of that last place we where staying anyway. That girl you where with was cold tripping. She talking about some, "Zack, take out the trash. Zack, clean out the living room". I’m like, "bitch, I'm the driver not the butler". Said zack.  
"Carmen sandiego, I know you got the warm and fuzzies for Puppet Street, but tonight, we might be wearing their asses on our motherfucking feet." Sighed mime bomb.  
"Yeah I can't understand a word you're saying, zack translate." Said carmen.  
"Carmen sandiego, I know you got the warm and fuzzies for Puppet Street, but tonight, we might be wearing their asses on our motherfucking feet." Said Zack.

They drive for awhile before retching puppet street. They park the car behind a garbage can in an alleyway and move closer to the street but stay hidden behind some of the buildings.  
"Fuzzy pimps, furry hustlers, and hairy hoes. Looks like puppet street done gone grimy ghetto. Oh, no!" Sighed Mime bomb.  
Carmen shoots zack a look and that's all he needs to get the message to translate.  
"Fuzzy pimps, furry hustlers, and hairy hoes. Looks like puppet street done gone grimy ghetto. Oh, no!" Said Zack.  
"Mime bomb, I’m starting to get the feeling that that puppet show we see on TV is just a show." Said Carmen sandiego.  
"That’s right! You on puppet turf now, bitches!" Came a strange voice in a trash can.  
"Crenshaw the Slime, the puppet that loves to hate." Said Carmen sandiego.  
"Yeah, that’s me, stupid-ass Sandiego, and if there’s one thing I really hate, it’s a big-ass, shiny-ass, greasy-ass action-figure latin like-" Crenshaw the Slime was trying to say before carmen comes up and kicks it ten feet away. She runs up to punch it but it jumps on her face and starts slamming the back of her neck with it's trash can lid.  
"Mime bomb, lay a grenade on me!" Yelled Carmen sandiego.  
Mime bomb throughs her the grenade, and carmen catch is it pulls the pin and shoves it down the puppets throat.  
"Oh shit, I hate grenades, Ohh, Carmen sandiego, you ain’t shit." Said Crenshaw the Slime as it explodes in its trash can.  
"Now, we need to split before these puppets…" Carmen was saying before they where surrounded by puppets with guns.

A couple of minutes later Carmen and crew are tied up with ropes, in some unknown dark location. It only takes a couple of minutes for them to hear the foot steps of Kurt's body gard, and then Kurt's himself comes into view.

"That Frog Kurtis?" Asked Carmen sandiego.  
"No, it’s That King Pimp Kurtis now motherfucker, ribbet, motherfucking ribbet, and I guess you’re supposed to be that super bitch Carmen sandiego. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, it’s not true?" Asked Kurt's  
"No, it is true. It’s just that no puppet ever called me a bitch before. Now, what kind of diabolical dirt are you planning with these kids?" Said Carmen sandiego.

Kurt's jumps off his body guard and gets in Carmen's face.  
"Oh, I got your diabolical dirt right here, diabolical these nuts, In yo face." Said Kurt's.  
"Man, you ain’t pimpin, those little itty bitty children are kids, where yo bitches at." asked Zack.  
"These kids my fuckin damn bitches, huh! And I’ll make you my bitch, too, you keep running your motherfucking mouth, you ever been slapped across your face by a frog?" Ask Kurt's.  
"Oh, hell no. You ain’t no…" Zack was saying before Kurt's snaps him across the face with the back of his hand.  
"What was that, I-I-I couldn’t hear you that time, it sounded like you where getting bitch slapped." Said Kurt's.  
"Why, that Frog Kurtis, why?" Asked Carmen sandiego.  
"Why, why, you know, I think it’s time for big Carmen sandiego to learn a little lesson." Said Kurt's.  
With that he snaps his fingers and the room goes dark.

♬Kurtis♬ Listen and learn, Carmen sandiego, ‘cause That Frog Kurtis is a straight-up pimp! ♬ Ribbet! Ribbit! ♬ 30 years on public TV! ♬  
3 Female Puppets♬ Yeah!  
♬Kurtis♬ Raisin’ these damn kids for free!  
♬3 Female Puppets♬ That shit is over now that’s not happening.  
♬Kurtis♬ Now I gets my green from Hustlin’!  
♬3 Female Puppets♬ Kids!  
♬Kurtis♬ My arm is skinny, but I’ll slap your face!  
♬3 Female Puppets♬ Pimp hand strong so damn strong.  
♬Kurtis♬ I have the power of persuasion give me a kid!  
♬3 Female Puppets♬ Girl, boy, black, or whitay!  
♬Kurtis♬ Come and rob your mamas and daddies for me!  
♬3 Female Puppets♬ Rob your mama, jack your daddies  
♬Kurtis♬ When you leave your motherfucking kids to froggy!  
♬3 Female Puppets♬ Raised by the TV, haven’t you heard?  
♬Kurtis♬ They’ll do what I say when I give the word!  
♬3 Female Puppets♬ You won’t believe, they’re so naive. That Frog’s a pimp he’s about to rob the nation when the kids tune in to the public TV station.  
♬Kurtis♬ I’m about to be on top of the world! Green is the new black, baby! 

"Now, in five minutes, I’m gonna show you what kind of power a frog really got, jack. Whoever said the revolution wasn’t gonna be televised didn’t know what the fuck - they was talking about, sucka!" Said Kurt's.

"Man, Carmen sandiego ain’t nobody’s sucka, you fly-soup-eating mother-fucker!" Signed Mime bomb.

"Who you supposed to be, Dr. Seuss, huh, we have the ginger-ass Dr. Seuss in here. Now, quiet on the set, jack, I mean it, shut the fuck up, after the broadcast, kill their asses, please, please, please." Asked Kurt's.

Kurt's gets back up on his body guard and they slowly walk on set.

"Hey, kids, I want to thank you for tuning in to a very special episode of "the Puppet Show"! I hope you all remembered to bring one of your mama’s stockings, guns, gloves, like I told you last week, ‘cause it’s gonna go down this week." Said Kurt's.

As the children cheer in the audience, backstage Carmen uses her sheer will power to ripe through her ropes. As the puppets start to shoot they only have near second before carmen jumps on them and starts pulling out there stuffing. 

"Now, the word of the day is "money". As in "King Pimp Super Kurt needs you to bring all the money". - Say it, kids, with me, money." Said Kurt's.

"Money!" Shouted all the kids on the audience.

Meanwhile back stage.

"You want some of this, you don’t mess with the Ivy and expect it not to be poison." Ivy Shouted as she pulled out some shurikens from a pouch under her shirt and hurls them through some puppets.  
"Come on, let’s go little jack, I got you, sucker." Zack said as he kicks and rams his shoe through a puppet. 

Two puppets try to jump on mime bomb and he punches them out of the way, but before he can turn around a puppet trys to come at him with a knife and he punches in the puppets face.  
Carmen also punches the stuffing out of two more puppets before ripping one's head in half, the Kurt's body guard comes up behind her and carmen does a few punches to no avail. Then the body guard punches Carmen square in the jaw spinning Carmen around giving her opportunity to jump on the body guard and twist it's neck.

"Now, listen to froggy, baby. ‘Cause y’all know you know and I know - that That Frog Kurtis is a-" Kurt's was about to say.  
"Jive-ass motherfucker!" Said Carmen sandiego as she ran on stage interrupting Kurt's program and holds him by the neck.  
"Wait, Carmen sandiego, come on, come on, I’m part of every lesson you ever learned. I got you I got you I got you out of peeing in the bed. No family was there for that, Carmen sandiego! No family was there for that, no family!

Carmen suddenly sees flashbacks of brunt telling her nanny she's leaving her.

"I’m leaving you to raise 5-year-old Carmen sandiego by yourself. Bye, bitch!" Said Brunt in Carmen's flashback.

"You and me are like one. Don’t let the man pit us against each other, okay?" Said Kurt's as he pulls out a knife.

Carmen snaps out of in and notices he has a knife and headbutts him deadly. She then proceeds to do unspeakable acts as the t.v. turns to "technical difficulties" before coming back to Carmen holding Kurt's like it's an actual puppet 

"Carmen sandiego, thank you for coming on "the Puppet Show", as my special guest and best friend, and you kids can forget about everything that Frog Kurtis was saying. I was in make-believe land, but Carmen sandiego took me out of it. Right, kids?" Carmen asked the audience holding Kurt's haloed out corpse.

The audience of children all seem to be in shock and no one says anything until a little girl screams.  
little girl screams.


End file.
